Marbella: Sun, Fried fish and Lots of Champagne!

As soon as we hopped into the cab that would take us from Malaga Airport to the beachside resort of Marbella- we knew we were in for a good time...The fat bald, sweaty man with the REALLY thick andalusian accent did not come up for breath during the entire 45 minute ride. He talked (and talked and talked and talked....) about EVERYTHING: how hookers pay cab fares, how transvestites like to flirt with him, how all men everywhere cheat and how it's really women that drive their poor men to cheat because they always fake headaches when their husbands want sex...we were dizzy from the nonstop chatter and to make matters worse he happened to be one of those people that needs to make eye-contact while talking- even when driving! Unfortunately, having chosen the seat directly behind him, I watched in horror as he proceeded to adjust the rearview mirror- not to improve his view of the road- but so that we could maintain eye contact throughout the entire conversation! I could only sit and envy melissa as she dozed in and out of consciousness while I had to stare into his eyes and fake laugh throughout the entire ride to make him think I was listening.

Just when Melissa and I were going to point out that his wife's constant sex-induced migraines are probably directly related to his nasty-ass body odor, we arrived at the Gran Hotel Guadalpin! The hotel was amazing! Much nicer than we had expected, and as soon as the bellhop left us alone in our room we reverted to our back-country Mahopac-Cuban selves and ran around in the complimentary hooded bathrobes and slippers laughing and taking pictures while racing to pop open a bottle of barbadillo wine from the minibar accompanied by a fresh can of pringles...we even had a very cute terrace with a fabulous view of the BP gas station next door!

Ok, the view sucked but the room was awesome...

After a day at the beach on Saturday complete with a huge lunch of beer and fried Andalusian fish, we headed back to our lovely room and began beautifying for our big night on the town. Unfortunately my beloved hair dryer decided to die at that moment, and as many of you can probably imagine I wanted to throw myself off the terrace in desperation. Fortunately I somehow manged to control my hair in such a humidity charged environment and we finished glamming ourselves up for the nightly festivities. This was a big night after all, Melissa was unleashing her powerful miniskirt on the unsuspecting inhabitants of Marbella and we had already seen the damage it had inflicted on the Madrileños...

We headed to the hotel terrace to listen to a Cuban band that happend to be playing there that night. Tables had been set up with candles around the illuminated outdoor pool...so romantic and so....RESERVED! All of the tables had reserved signs on them. What a nightmare, our romantic evening was going to be cut short just because we were the only idiots that hadn't called to reserve a table. Like magic, the young maitre'd asks us if we have a reservation, we tell him no, after a fleeting look of concern which I think was more for dramatic emphasis than anything else, he leads us to a lovely table by the entrance. Shocked, we sit down and begin to revel in our good luck when he asks us what we would like to drink. We were still a bit giddy from having snagged such a good table and couldn't decide, so we asked for few minutes to think about it... After those few minutes he returned, but not to take our drink order- he arrived with two glasses of amazing champagne and a bowl filled with chilled strawberries... at this point I begin trying to calculate how many other nights Melissa and I have left to go out to dinner alone before she leaves - if we are managing to do so well in Marbella, there is no telling what we can achieve with her miniskirt in Madrid! If we add Gabi to the mix and head to the airport when we get back maybe we can work on getting free plane tickets somewhere! My mind is racing with possible ways to exploit melissa, her mini and femininity in general- when the food arrives.
As we ate our 2 courses of complimentary appetizers that we never ordered, we realized that the Cuban band we had been so excited to see was really not that good, they were in fact the quietest bunch of Cubans I had ever seen in my life, no energy whatsoever! From my experience I can tell you that Cubans are not quiet, ever. And especially not a Cuban band! There is usually more noise at my parents house during dinner than in a small nightclub and we are only five people! These bland Cubans confused us, and we began an in-depth discussion on whether they were even Cuban at all- they were so lame, maybe they were Dominicans? When suddenly they brought over the fabulous bottle of Moet that Melissa had ordered for my birthday! We sucked it down with dinner while listening to a few more songs and asked our waiter for the check- it was time to head out to the ritzy clubs in Puerto Banus!The check finally arrives and to our shock it comes to a measly 20 euros... did they make a mistake? Do we say something? Do we hope they don't notice? Just then our friend the maitre'd glides over and announces that the 80 euro bottle of champagne is on the house and that they would like to invite us to dessert as well...

"Anything you girls would like- Dessert? Liqueur? Coffee?..."

Of course, never known to be shy and especially not with a few champagnes in me, I blurt out-

"I'll have a vodka tonic! thanks!" and smile ...

Melissa stifles a laugh and orders a rum and coke ....by far one of the BEST dinners ever!






(Melissa in full Marbella beach mode!)

Galicia Trip Number 2!

We had SUCH a great time in Galicia this weekend with Gabs and Chema. We went back to Gabi's town, Puebla de Caramiñal in the Rias Baixas region- it is so beautiful!
We rolled in on Friday and headed out for a night out on the town...but Friday never really ended, it just kind of bleeded into saturday as we samba-d our way out of the last bar at around 9am all while eating enormous calamari sandwiches (they had a takeout window in the bar! my kind of place!) We went directly home, JUST to grab our bikinis and head out once again to hit the beach! I do not recommend this for people over 30, I have one more yr left but I think I am definitely reaching the end of my prime...I think I must have actually passed out while sprawled on the sand, Gabi and Chema later explained that they had moved their towels away from mine because my excessively loud snoring started to bother them...

The highlight of the trip was the albariño festival in Cambados- rows of stands with people preparing any kind of shellfish imagineable all accompanied by amazing Albariño wine.
As you can see by the pictures we ate our faces off- and all for about 10 bucks a person!

Well I am headed off to Marbella this weekend to celebrate my birthday on the beach with Melissa... I'll be sure to let you know how it goes!

Gabi and I eating cigalas at the Albariño festival

Melissa chowing down

Chema ate more than anyone!

Ernesto digging in!

Always a Gentile, never a Sephardic Bride...

Part 1 : A night to remember...

This weekend was one of the most beautiful, and exciting to date as I was able to experience first hand what it's like to partake in a Sephardic wedding ceremony.

Just some background for those of you that do not know what the heck I am talking about (Sandra you can skip this part obviously...) Basically what I have learned (please correct me if I screw up) is that the Judaism can be divided into two different cultural branches: Ashkenazim and Sephardim. Most of the Jewish people you and I know are Ashkenazim, meaning that they are descendants of European Jews. Sephardim, on the other hand are also Jewish but their roots are in the North of Africa, Iraq (Babylon), Syria, Greece, Turkey Spain and Portugal.

So, as some of you already know, I went to see my friend Esther marry her longtime argentine- boyfriend in Malaga, Spain yesterday. She is originally from a Spanish colony located in the north of Africa. She is Jewish as is her boyfriend, but while his family emigrated from Poland in the 30's to Argentina making him Ashkenazi, her family is of Sephardic heritage.

Well, first off, the wedding celebrations actually started off on Thursday with a ceremony called Noche BERBERISCA. It is a Sephardic ceremony where the bride wears a traditional costume (heavy moorish influence – lots of gold detailing and she wears a gold crown and sits on a gold throne while people paint her hands with henna to symbolize fertility) . Unforunately I missed it but I saw pictures and it looked amazing….

The open-air wedding ceremony was on Sunday on an amazing hilltop overlooking the sea. There was tons of chanting (mainly the rabbi) and singing going on during the ceremony in what I think was yiddish and some arabic as well?) Luckily there was someone narrating each step of the ceremony because it was quite long and with all of the chanting in other languages you couldn’t really follow too well…. At one point it seemed as if every male relative went up to the chuppah at some point to help the rabbi chant as well - needless to say I was fascinated! The best part was when the women (all seated on the left- men were to the right) began to make these crazy arab whooping noises, it sounded like an Indian war cry - they would do this throughout the night it definitely got everyone all riled up!


Part 2: Argentine Jews are extremely rowdy and of course ridiculously charming, amazing dancers

I was happy to aid some clueless gentile guests as to the intricate steps of the hava nagila , but the highlight had to be watching the rowdy Argentine/Venezuelan boys hoist up the bride and groom on whatever furniture was handy at the moment.
First they were lifted on chairs and thrown around with an almost frightening force, I definitely thought little Esther would go flying at one point and land on the top ofthe cake. Then they made them stand on a tabletop and dance and sing to this crazy song that I only wish I knew the words to because everyone around me was having a blast singing it- the table scene was also scary because they were SO HIGH UP and on this flimsy piece of wood! I still can' t believe they didn’t fall… newlywed Jewish couples are risk takers!! The boys kept linking hands and spinning themselves around with WAY too much energy though as the night the wore on, impending disaster was in the air and it actually reared its ugly head when the boys decided to all jump up on one of the catering tables (thank God/Jehovah it was empty!)
These South American Jewish boys are quite jumpy, after climbing on the table it came crashing down in the middle of their dance and they all fell in a heap including a friend of the groom who appeared to be physically disabled (prior to the accident of course). I though they had definitely killed him! Luckily he was more resilient than he looked and got back on his feet rather quickly. So everyone moved into the dance area where the salsa band was playing and the Argentine/Venezuelans proceeded to dance everyone under the table. They even danced everyone under the table while dancing ON the tables! Then they started throwing afro wigs and crazy feather masks and noisemakers into the crowd- it was suddenly a New Years party and there was not a man in the place without an afro wig on!
I ended up dancing the rest of the night with a lovely jewish boy aptly named after the just hebrew King Salomon, he would have been shorter than me had it not been for the enormous wig so everything seemed to work out well while we danced- he was a tiny jewish fred astaire, amazing dancer! And as we discussed the wonders of the blending of Judaic cultures all under one big chuppah- I really felt for just one fleeting moment like a member of the tribe….