MY Birthday Weekend, COCK-full of fun...!

We decided to celebrate my birthday last Friday night, with a low-key cake and dinner soiree at my house. Gabi, Chema, Carolina, Melissa and I sat around and stuffed ourselves with birthday cake (made by chef melissa) which was delicious of course, but unfortunately I almost lost conciousness while trying to blow out the trick candles.
After a few drinks at home we made our way to a fabulously-named place to kick off my birthday night: BAR COCK. I chose this bar, no not for the catchy name, but for the simple fact that it is one of the few bars in Madrid that specializes in making cocktails. Cocktails are actually an endangered species here, noone really makes them and the Spanish are definitely not used to drinking them. On more than one occasion Gabi and I have been met with open mouth stares and looks of extreme disapproval from nearby Spaniards for the simple crime of enjoying a few bloody marys at 3 in the afternoon or ordering a couple of long Island Ice Teas with lunch! Can you believe them?!!!
Spaniards usually drink beer or vermouth (yes, straight vermouth) during the day and reserve the hard-core "drinks" for their late night boozing. They do not mess around with their alcohol here, a typical "drink" consists of a tube glass HALF TO 3/4 of the way FILLED with the hard liquor of your choice, accompanied by a tiny splash of the carbonated beverage of your choice to mix it with. Now maybe it's because I am from New York where cocktails are a standard part of the local nightlife, or maybe it is because I just love vodka, I don't know, but I what I do know is that no matter how long I live in Spain, and no matter how assimilated I may feel here I will never understand why noone on the peninsula is capable of making a decent dirty Martini. I miss them so much that I have taken to making them at home, which makes me feel a bit like an old french brothel owner.Soooo as you can imagine I had very high hopes for this big ol'Cock bar thinking that maybe I would find a place that will finally get it right!

I can't even begin to describe how incredibly disappointed I was when the "Dirty Martini" I ordered turned out to be nothing more than a nasty gin concoction with a few olives thrown in that I was forced to sip with gritted teeth throughout the course of the night. Yuck!

Nevertheless, we had a great time and proceeded to head to the next bar: Suite, which was unfortunately about to close.Luckily there was enough time to have one quick drink and people-watch for awhile. This place is located near the center of Madrid yet it is still far enough away from the tourist traps to attract the mullet/faux-hawk-sporting alterna-crowd. We've gone there quite a few times actually, and the best visit by far has got to be the day we spotted our spinning instructor in the dark sweaty dance club upstairs... She is a short muscular yet feminine chick with a bleached butchy haircut and a... HUMUNGOUS ASS (I am Cuban, I have seen quite a few gargantuan asses in my day, some of them in my very own family, but never have I seen the likes of this). Gabi and I actually nicknamed her "libelula" which means dragonfly in Spanish, because we happened to catch sight of her in the women's locker room one day, where she likes to prance around naked,and we noticed that she has a very large colorful dragonfly tattoed on one of her impossibly large rump cheeks. So anytime we see her we can't help calling her by her favorite insect name.

Ok, I lost track there for a minute...anyhow the night ended in the wee hours of the morning after stopping off at yet another placewith a one syllable name: Room. Melissa and I walked home and fell into bed. It took me a while to fall asleep, I was too busyfinishing off the rest of the potato chip bag we had left on the couch earlier in the evening, but as I chomped away I couldnt helpthinking how weird it is to be turning 29! My mom had toddlers at that age, and I on the other hand can't even manage to keep a plant alive for more than a few weeks. ..