Polish Kickboxing

Melissa and I regularly attend a kickboxing class here in Madrid, taught by a lovely polish girl named Angelica. Actually, the class is really called cardiobox, or something to that effect so technically it's not AUTHENTIC kickboxing. Although, when I am in the class, I get so into it that I really feel like I am learning skills that I would be able to use against a potential attacker. But then when class is over, I come down off my endorphin high and realize that we are really just doing glorified aerobics with some punching and kicking coreography thrown in to make us feel like bad-asses... potential attackers may only be thwarted when they fall on the floor laughing at me as I strike my Daniel Russo "Stork on a rock" pose to fend them off.
I mean, every time I have tried to show Pepe my rolling floor kick, he ends up laughing hysterically as I proceed to fall on my ass...I am starting to come to terms with the fact that I am probably the dorkiest and clumsiest kickboxer alive.
When Melissa was living with my parents in New York she went on a fitness kick and started training with a puerto-rican ex-kickboxer 5 times a week. Not only did she lose about 20 pounds, but girlfriend was also pretty strong. When she showed up in Madrid that summer she was so incredibly ripped that I could have grated cheese on her abs. So needless to say, thanks to all of her previous training, Melissa is the teacher's pet of our class. She goes out of her way to be the best in every class and even butters up the teacher by lending her copies of Oxygen magazine. Pepe finds Oxygen highly amusing, he couldn't believe how a common theme for their covers is the recurring image of a c.40 year old VERY TAN fitness model with a BULGING horse-neck and muscles in aTINY workout suit hoisting her toddler in the air with one hand to show how she regained her strength and her "girlish figure" after childbirth. I think he was a bit frightened by it if you ask me...Anyway, so since Melissa and I usually go together to class, Angelica discovered early on that we are sisters and in her broken English/Spanish combo language she has taken to calling us by the collective name "Seeestah".
The worst is that we really answer to it, when we are together and also separately!
A typical conversation with Angelica when Melissa is not in that day's class would be:

ANGELICA: "Hola Seestah!!, ohh nooo! wheere ees Sistah?"
ME: "Hola Angelica! um, Seestah couldnt make it today, Seestah is sick"
ANGELICA: "ahh haha oookaaay Seestah! Well, we work out weethout seestah today
then!! hahaha"

So as you can see our collective name can also be used to refer to us individually...ingenious right?

Angelica's Polish accent at first made her a bit hard to understand, but now I think it is almost musical the way she floats between English and Spanish never really mastering either one, yet effectively getting her point across to a room full of mostly monolingual spaniards (The Spanish are really not known for their mastery of non-Spanish languages I must add...). She always begins the class by yelling "NEW NEW?? NUEEEVO?? NUEEVO??" so that anyone that has not taken kickboxing previously can identify themselves. Most new people don't really understand her at first but every once in a while a few hands will be raised. After showing us a few basic moves like the "HOOOOK" and the "UPPEEEHRCUT"we begin...
Now, as I mentioned before, Melissa is the star of the show. An undisputable fact that has cruelly highlighted what my role has come to be over time ...class buffoon. Although I put all of my effort into every class, for some reason every time Melissa catches a glimpse of me in the mirror she has to stop herself from giggling. Worse off, when we have to do group excercises I always end up doing something wrong.
The worst was the day that we had to do some sort of stretching excercise where, by the seemingly effortless act of crossing your feet you would turn to face the mirror and continue with another stretch. Well as I swung one leg across the other and began my turn, I could feel that something wasn't right. Much to my chagrin I looked up to see that I had miraculously turned in the wrong way and that while everyone was now staring at the mirror to look back at their reflection in unison, my ass was where my head should have been and I was facing the wall. Needless to say everyone burst out laughing and I turned bright red. As I slowly maneuvered myself around to the correct position...Angelica just shook her head and after shooting a knowing glance to her wingman and student #1 ,Melissa- she just smiled and playfully chided me by simply saying ..."Oh Seestah!!!"