Mariachis Asesinos

This year, for my birthday I decided I was going to fully embrace passing the 30yr mark and celebrate with my head held high my official crossing into the unknown pastures of 31....

I organized a party at home with friends, music, booze, cake and Melissa - all the essential ingredients for a successfull bash. It was sooooo much fun, I was really happy that everyone showed up to celebrate with us. My only complaint was that my one birthday wish didnt come true.... live mariachis!

I don't know why I became obsessed with the idea of hiring a group of mariachis to serenade me at my party(I know, Melissa called it the epitome of self-centeredness, but I dont care!). I guess ever since I was little I have always loved the idea of serenades as they appear in those old mexican movies...an unsuspecting girl on her balcony surprised by a whole band of mariachis singing to her below just seemed so romantic. I began to envision how my birthday serenade would be: 4 chubby mariachis in sparkly tight suits and guitars singing Mexican love songs while walking up my street towards my balcony, as I basked in the glow of the undivided birthday attention. But then my overactive imagination would kick in and I would start to imagine the little hoodlum kids that sometimes hang out in my neighborhood, and my serenade dream would go horribly awry. .. I imagined the kids beating the crap out of the poor mariachis with their instruments and making fun of their sparkly pants. The kids would leave laughing, as my little chubby troubadors lay bleeding in the street under my balcony- their broken guitar remains lying in a pool of blood.... horrible, I know. Unfortunately, (or possibly fortunately for the mariachis) the dream was not meant to be... they turned out to be way too expensive so I had to give up all hopes of a birthday serenade. But dont worry, next year I will not be deterred! And forget Mexico, I may go to LA to find me some bad-ass mexican mariachis for my 32nd, and I will make sure they are packing in case any little madrileño punks try to mess with them!